Finding Agency Through Inner Work and Outer Action
The other day, when I scrolled through my “news”-feed, I noticed myself feeling frustrated, torn, and in some ways paralyzed by what others think needs to be done right now. It seems that two messages dominate the narrative: ‘Fight!’ and ‘Find peace within.’ Both felt right. Both left me stuck. Then I stopped and asked myself: ‘What is the piece that is missing to get unstuck?’
What the hell is happening right now?
We are in a worldwide pressure-cooker that causes many to feel like they’re in crisis mode – even more so than in the past, where it already felt like that. A lot of us feel helpless when looking at all the things happening. The wars, the suppression, the hate, the violence. And it’s more and more at our doorstep. So it’s more than understandable, that we are looking for others, leaders in one way or another, to show the way and tell us what to do. But there are a lot of different voices, some louder than others, and it’s hard to know who to listen to and to trust nowadays.
There is one group of people now communicating that we need to stand up and not be bystanders, because we’re in the middle of history repeating (and probably amplifying) itself. We need to resist! We need to “fight the evil”! – And they are not wrong.
But then there are those in the “enlightened” or “spiritual” field that tell us that we need to let go of the war inside of us first and it may feel like they are saying to do nothing on the outside. Because if we fight, we are still just supporting the inner war. So basically we should meditate and find peace within. – and they are not completely wrong either.
In this whole confusion, we might feel overwhelmed and don’t know where to start or who to listen to. But there is a beautiful framework that can help us make sense of it all.
Work that reconnects
This framework was developed by Joanna Macy, which she calls the “work that reconnects”, which has three dimensions of change:
- Actions to slow the damage to Earth and its beings
- Analysis of structural causes and the creation of structural alternatives
- Shift in Consciousness
So it seems we have the first dimension covered by the voices for standing up and fighting and the third one by those that say to focus on inner peace. But as for what we need to do in this particular situation when it comes to the second step, I at least don’t hear that much about in my bubble. So I will attempt some thoughts as to what we as an individual can do to analyze our part of the structural causes and our part of the creation of structural alternatives. These structures start within us.
Structural causes are on the one hand our cultures, our governmental structures and the way we built our lives of where we live and where we work and how they are often quite far apart from one another.
But on the other hand, structural causes are also the way we think, feel and act in each moment. How we learned it from our surroundings and might have never questioned it. Or even if we started to question it, there are so many layers to unpack, that it’s sometimes hard to see our blind spots.
So for the creation of structural alternatives, we also need to look at all the different bigger structures as I mentioned, which is a big feat. But in my experience, it all starts with the way we feel within. Because yes, we can build really beautiful projects that can help people get on their feet, being seen, feeling supported.
But if it comes with the cost of our own well-being, and our own fear of not being good enough or worthy enough to also deserve what we give to others, it is not sustainable. It will inevitable lead to us crashing and then we need someone else to take care of us. So what I propose is to first look at our own patterns – our inner structures – and find alternative ways of acting out of love and being fulfilled, instead of acting out of fear or lack.
Here are four steps I’ve found helpful on this path of inner restructuring:
1. Identify and face our fears
This means to both look at the big and obvious ones like fear for our lives, the lives of our loved ones, our livelihoods, etc. as well as the more subtle ones of not belonging, not being good enough, not doing enough, etc.
A lot of us are also afraid of the uncertainty and look for someone to tell us what to do, to calm down and be able to say: “But someone told me to sign a petition. I did this, so I’m a good person. And please confirm to me that I couldn’t have done more anyway.”. This shows our feeling of helplessness as well as our fears of not doing/being enough, of doing something wrong, and possibly being shunned from our circle of friends.
But if we keep doing something just because we think it is asked or required of us, we are just like a worker acting busy when they see the boss coming around the corner, but being idle the rest of the time.
Instead we might want to step into the discomfort of asking ourselves: Is it really true that I couldn’t have done more? Or was it maybe too much? Or was it even the right thing for me to do?
And what was my intention of doing it? Was it to make those people happy, or to have something to tell others that I “did something”? Or did I actually do it out of love or joy and am just looking for a mistake where there is none?
2. Regain or develop our own sense of agency
You can do that by checking in with our reality about those fears:
– What is their origin?
– Are they really true right in this moment?
– What is it that we are actually afraid of?
– Who are we actually afraid of?
– How much are we creating the villain in others where it might be unfounded? (e.g. people who think differently, look differently, act differently than what we would like them to)
If we are more clear on those questions, we might find a path to not blindly follow our fears, but step out of that loop, discover that there might not be something to fear, or that the fear is about something completely different. That way we can focus our actions on the root of where we come from, and find ways out of the fear and into taking small, actionable steps out of it.
3. Reconnect with ourselves
Looking at those fears can be exhausting. But it also helps us to find our way back to ourselves. We can do this by calming our nervous system with whatever method has worked for you in the past, or try something new. Here are some suggestions:
– being in Nature
– co-regulating with another person (hugging, cuddling, etc.)
– sharing with friends or family (about our thoughts and fears)
– meditation
– reach out to a psychotherapist or life coach or someone similar
As soon as we calmed down our nervous system, we have a lot more power and agency and can act from the perspective of the adult we are, and not out of the small child, possibly feeling helpless, abandoned or unsafe. In that stage, we regain our inherent power and strength.
4. Listen to what we actually can and are called to do
When we are centered and more aware of our fears, we
– are no longer controlled by our fear or reactivity
– can listen to what our part, our role in this situation is, and act accordingly
When we face our fears and reclaim our agency, we stop reproducing the same patterns of fear, division, and reactivity that fuel the very systems we want to change. Inner work isn’t separate from structural change – it’s the foundation for sustainable action.
Because if the motivation for doing something changes from fear or hate to joy or love, we ourselves who are doing it can feel it, and others can feel it as well. Then the new structures we build within society, culture, government and work are fueled in a different way and will bring the people doing it more joy, which will benefit also the people we do it for.
So what does that mean in our context now?
In a situation of seeming chaos and upheaval, it is important to go through those four steps, and then ask ourselves the important question:
What are you being called to do from within? – If nobody was watching?
The answer can then lead to one of the three dimensions of the Work that Reconnects, outlined by Joanna Macy. Then – if we are called to it – we can still feel natural anger, born out of love for others, and to become a peaceful warrior like we have seen now a few times when Native Americans stood up for their land (like in Standing Rock).
Or we feel called to work on creating new structures on the outside – within society, culture, government and work -, based on the new structure we built within.
And then there’s still the possibility that we feel called to work on the shift in consciousness, both for ourselves and finding ways to support others of what that might actually mean.
And if your answer is: “I don’t feel called to anything”. Then ask yourself: “when did I give away my power, self-responsibility or sense of agency to someone else?” Or better yet: “no matter where I might have lost it: how can I get back that sense of agency and truly feel that nobody else will stand up for me, if I don’t also do it first?”
It’s important to stand up for our rights and the rights of others – however we might feel called to. It’s important to set certain boundaries without needing to get into fighting or defending mode. If we bring the same defensive energy we bring to personal 1:1 arguments and disagreements about any topic into the more global fight, it won’t help in the long term.
But if we constantly learn to better notice our own boundaries, and learn to stand firmly, without needing to defend ourselves for having that stand, but also not have the need to convince anyone to have to stand with us, we can be a rock both for ourselves and others. And if a lot of people become rocks in their own way, with their own methods, this structure (whatever it might become) might be able to stop the avalanche of hurt people hurting people.
Conclusion
So the way I see it, both sides are right. We need to stand up, and we also need to do the inner work. But we need to let go of the idea of a specific outcome. We can’t know where the world might lead us to. But we won’t get anywhere if we don’t realize that we need to face our deepest fears, find our own clear sense of agency, and act out of our inner strength.
To not do something to make others happy or get punished or ousted, but stand firm in and from the power we feel within. Not to hold power over someone, but to simply embrace and be in our own power, to bring the kind of beauty into the world that comes pouring out of us if we let go of everything that isn’t truly a representation of our Self.
This can have a lot of different faces and we don’t have to do them all, but do our part. And this can be the beauty of bringing your neighbor food, or painting a banner or mural for peace, write a letter to a politician or build a house or tend a garden. Either for yourself or to support someone in need. Because as long as we don’t fall into the trap of self-indulgence, it might be the strongest resistance in your personal case to take care and nourish your own body, mind or spirit.
The important thing in my view is to go into it all with our eyes open. To not close ourselves off because we’re not doing enough or not the right thing. But to realize that each of us has a different journey. To be both the harshest critic and the most empathetic friend to ourselves, and start to trust that if a lot of us are doing this – coming back to our own center and calm and strength and power – that each of us will bring exactly the right puzzle piece. They will all look slightly different. But they will all be needed.
And the first step in this journey can be as simple (but maybe not always easy) as to stop listening to others for just a moment, breathe and allow your own voice to come through. Being in the natural world – maybe just connecting with Tree, listening to River or observing Flower – can help.
