We don’t have to be perfect

We don’t have to be perfect

We just have to feel what we feel

For the whole of last year, I felt trapped. Trapped in a cycle of regret, hope, and despair. I had clung to an idea of how both the other person and I—and our relationship—should be, and what I absolutely “needed.” And clinging to this idea of “perfect” didn’t really allow me to see or feel things as they are in their entirety.

Then, a dear friend shared a song with me that let me take a deep breath and allowed the tears to flow in a different way: “You Don’t Need to Be Perfect” by Nash Blackwood. read more

Poverty in Relationships

Poverty in Relationships

Why love isn’t enough, and why a relationship and creating a bond aren’t the same thing.

In a previous post, I wrote about the different faces of poverty. I didn’t address poverty in relationships directly, but rather spoke generally about a lack of connection that keeps us trapped in loneliness.

I have many conversations with people who, even though they’re in relationships (whether romantic or otherwise), feel lonely or left alone. They don’t feel heard, seen, or understood. And personally, I know all too well the various emotions that arise when we build a relationship with another person, yet something is still missing. read more

I can’t hear you

I can’t hear you

No matter what you say,
no matter what you do.
I’m trapped inside myself.
And I can’t find a way out.

I scream,
apparently to protect myself.
But from what?
I think I hear you,
but it’s just my filters.

You say, “You only hear your own echo,”
and all I hear is
what I’ve always heard.
You say, “You don’t see me.”
And again, all I hear is, “You’re not good enough.”

You see me, but I don’t want to see that.
Because then I can no longer hide
from all the uncomfortable feelings
that come
with truly seeing myself. read more

You, I, one, we

You, I, one, we

Some of you may have noticed that, for the most part, I don’t write about “you” or the very general “one” in my texts. Every now and then, I share a personal story of my own to be more personal and precise. Most of the time, however, I write observations about “us”—as people, as a society, as a culture.

This can trigger resistance in some people when I write about things that might affect some people, but not that specific person. And it’s true. This “we” can never be precise enough to truly express who is included and who is not. Nevertheless, it is a very conscious decision on my part to write in this way. read more

Frosty, My Freeze Dryer

Frosty, My Freeze Dryer

Not everyone named Frosty has to be a snowman.

“Oh cool, you have a freeze dryer! I’ve been thinking about buying a dehydrator or a freeze dryer myself!”—That, or something similar, was a common reaction to my new “family member”, which I named “Frosty” on a friend’s suggestion.

In the U.S. and Canada, this device is already much more widespread—probably mainly because of the large prepper community—but in Europe, it’s not yet very well known, at least for home use. My guess is that it’s mainly due to its size and price. Both of these factors have surprised most people – including myself. read more

The faces of poverty

The faces of poverty

How we can view and redefine poverty from a different perspective

Even though I sometimes believed it as a child, I was never really financially poor. This meant I had the privilege of enjoying a comprehensive education. However, for a long time, I didn't realize that I was impoverished in other areas. Only now am I slowly recognizing the different faces and forms of poverty and what effects they have. And that the lack of something and the possession of something else does not automatically trigger the feeling of being poor or rich.

Total availability and the creeping loss of silence

Total availability and the creeping loss of silence

“What? You spend several hours a day talking to people all over the world?” – These words from a good friend stuck with me. Even though it’s part of my job, I knew that I had once again lost my way. I was basically available 24/7, and the consequences were obvious. That’s why, right after Christmas, I spontaneously decided to go “offline” again after a long time. I wanted to be unavailable to others for at least one day and not be able to reach anyone either.

When we are surrounded by a culture/society that is not good for us for too long, sooner or later we get carried away. No matter how well we know from past experience that it is not good for us. Then we need a strong network of people who build a different culture. People and a value system that remind us again and again to anchor ourselves within us and in the here and now. read more