"How could I ever trust someone if I have been betrayed?" This is a question we all ask ourselves at some point in our lives. Either consciously or subconsciously. And from what I've observed, there are a lot of different layers to this question.
Many people, especially in the non-profit sector, actually associate profit with a lot of negative things. We then often automatically equate profit with exploitation. But maybe it's time to change that. And then we can still decide whether we have a "for purpose" or a "for values" or "for whatever" organization, but then at least we finally get out of the negative pendulum movement.
We all know those people, both on social media and in real life, that seem like they have it all figured out. They seem to have it all. They seem to be happy. They seem to be special. They seem like they never make mistakes. And I hate those people! I truly do!
Is it productive to take the time to cook a fresh meal? Is it productive to do handicrafts in a very slow and tedious way? Is it productive to stare out the window and let my thoughts wander? - Well, all of those I labeled unproductive, and am in the process of re-assigning the label.
A while ago, I was presented with a very unpleasant and hard pill to swallow: the hurt and shame around neediness in me and so many people, especially in our western culture. But what do I mean by that?
Now with the next set of restrictions due to the pandemic, I truly feel like a leper, just because I’m not vaccinated (yet?).
And it would be so easy to just conform and get on with my life, but then I wouldn’t even see the struggles of the unvaccinated any more. I won’t be able to feel into all those feelings coming up. Feeling like a nuisance, like a second class citizen. Like someone that everyone else just tolerates and wants to get rid of or at least not see any more. I could simply go on with my life.
I recently joined another vaccination-antivaccine-debate and realized, that there is a much more problematic dynamic at play here.
In March 2020 when the lockdowns started, a lot of people had high hopes, that we (as a society, as well as as individuals) will use that opportunity to rethink the way we live and do things. That we would reflect on what is really important in life, and question our push to unlimited growth, to higher, bigger, faster.
And even though the process was initiated with some, it was soon hijacked by the soon to come “salvation” that would allow us to go back to “normal” to ignore all the warning signs that what we’re doing, how we treat both fellow human beings as well as all the other beings that are all connected to us is actually doing all of us harm.
When I first experienced, simply BEING in nature, I realized, how much more it does than simply be the ecosystem for a lot of species.
Since the pandemic of covid-19 hit, there has been a divide, that’s been growing. Between the “people following the rules”, so that we can put the lockdowns behind us and get on with our lives, and the “conspiracy theorists”, that are weary of mainstream information being the only and whole truth, questioning decisions, and some of them possibly even going all the way into a story, that this was all planned.
I always felt like somewhere in between, playing the objective connector, keeping perspective. Seeing myself as the “sane” one. But was I?