“What? You spend several hours a day talking to people all over the world?” – These words from a good friend stuck with me. Even though it’s part of my job, I knew that I had once again lost my way. I was basically available 24/7, and the consequences were obvious. That’s why, right after Christmas, I spontaneously decided to go “offline” again after a long time. I wanted to be unavailable to others for at least one day and not be able to reach anyone either.
When we are surrounded by a culture/society that is not good for us for too long, sooner or later we get carried away. No matter how well we know from past experience that it is not good for us. Then we need a strong network of people who build a different culture. People and a value system that remind us again and again to anchor ourselves within us and in the here and now.
The story of availability
My fear likes to tell me that it is important to be available. I could receive an important or urgent work assignment that cannot wait. Or someone might not be feeling well, and I want to be there for them. Or the world might be ending, and I wouldn’t even notice!
Anxiety is extremely creative when it comes to finding reasons why we always have to be available. But how important is it that we really listen to this anxiety and give in to it?
Accessibility fasting
Many years ago, I was advised to fast – not eat anything – regularly once a week or at least once a month for one to three days. After letting my friend’s words sink in, I had the idea of applying this concept of regular fasting to my accessibility. This means either putting my phone in airplane mode or even turning it off completely, and not starting my email program or even my computer. It also means not surfing the internet, as this is another way in which information reaches us that distracts us from being in the here and now.
The idea is to repeatedly embark on this journey of research into accessibility fasting in order to reinforce the feeling that it is okay to do so, and that the world will not end if I do not immediately answer the phone or respond to an email. Subsequently, even if I am theoretically available, it is important to remain true to myself and respond in my own time. Ideally, I will become more and more at peace with the fear of not being available and, subsequently, the fear of not being needed.
When I am living in the wilderness, doing other seminars, or simply meeting others, it is much easier to fully engage in the moment, and then it is usually completely clear that everything else has to wait. During this time, a certain calmness automatically arises in me because I know that my attention only has to be right here and I don’t have to think about 5 or 10 other things at the same time.
But when I’m alone, I often find it much more difficult. After all, giving other people my full attention is much easier than saying clearly and openly that I’m not available right now, “simply” because it’s important to give my full attention to my life in the here and now.
Reclaiming inner peace
When we are available for most of our time, this inner restlessness or even anxiety slowly and steadily creeps in. And like the frog sitting in cold water that is slowly heated up, we often don’t even notice that it has become our constant companion. Inner restlessness becomes the norm. And only when we sit in cold water again do we notice the difference.
The one day I spent offline was like a cold, refreshing shower that reminded me above all, that I don’t have to wait for my next seminar or program in the forest to reclaim this inner peace. I can make it present in me at any moment. The fears are allowed to be there, but I don’t need to give them meaning or attention. And neither do you.
