Everyone says “follow your path,” but where is that path? Who knows it? And whose path is it really?
When we set out to find our own path instead of following the one that has been prepared for us by our environment, opinions about what our path may be are sprouting like mushrooms. Everyone who “only wants the best for us” has an idea in their head about what our path is. And when we hear similar stories from different people about where we should go, we can easily be tempted to believe them. But that can be one of the biggest traps on our path…
The hiding places of fear
On our journey to follow our wild heart, it is essential to take a closer look at where fear is hiding. Is fear hidden in the statements of others who “see our path” and “see what we need and what would be good for us” and if so, where?
Is it the fear of others that we will not find this path if they do not lead us there? Is it the fear of others that we might find this path and then walk away from them? Is it their fear of admitting to themselves that they do not know their own path, and therefore prefer to try to dispel this uncomfortable feeling in others? It could be all of these things and much more.
At the same time, however, it is also important to ask where our own fear is hidden. When others make such a statement, is there a fear of not knowing for ourselves? Is there a fear of general uncertainty? A fear of distancing ourselves from others? Or is there a fear of accepting that they might be right and that it is time to take this path?
Breaking out of the fear cycle
There are many places where fear can be hidden, and it is important to look closely. However, recognizing and seeing fear does not mean falling completely into it and getting stuck in a cycle of fear. Because ultimately, it is about recognizing that no one really knows the way. Not others, and not even ourselves.
On my journey, and as a result of exploring some of those fears, I keep coming back to the same realization: we don’t know the way! We can have an idea of what the way might be and go in that direction. It can even be very helpful at times to have a rough direction that you have decided on. However, it is important not to cling to it too rigidly and overlook important adjustments and “side paths.” Because we cannot know what the outcome will be.
What we can know, however, is what step needs to be taken right now. Right at this moment. For example, that we need to get up right now and go for a walk. Or lie down right now and go to sleep. Or that we need to say something right now, even though we know deep down that it’s just a story we’re acting out.
But no one knows the entire path, and that’s a good thing. As soon as we think we know the path, we’re already on the wrong track. As soon as we think we know the path, we are no longer in the moment and no longer notice what step is needed right now.
Trust and devotion
Stepping out of all potential fear loops requires deep trust and devotion to the path and to the divine, the source, the universe. Letting go of the ego, which may creep back in again and again, and may even like to see itself as “enlightened,” “awakened,” “seeing,” or otherwise special.
And this process is like meditation. Meditation is not about having no thoughts, but about not identifying with them and slipping into the story.
And devotion is not about never falling back into the ego or fear again, but about lovingly accepting it and recognizing that it is there, but that I can trust that – as long as I am truly honest with myself – I only have to worry about the next step. That I don’t have to know the whole picture in order to find a single piece of the puzzle that fits.
It’s not even about the path
The saying “the journey is the destination” is meant to help us realize that it’s not about the goal, but about the path to get there. However, it often leads us to define the path as the destination, and thus continue to hold on to a goal and believe that it’s about the destination (i.e., the path as the destination).
But when we realize that it’s not about finding the “right” path or “our” path, but that the path is just a tool to help us discover ourselves, get to know ourselves, and experience what it really means to be ourselves, we can increasingly let go of the idea of a destination, trust, and surrender to what is happening right now.
Relationships and who we are
Building on the saying “the journey is the destination,” there is a short story by James Norbury (Big Panda and Little Dragon). In this story, there is the following excerpt:
“Which is more important,” asked Big Panda, “the journey or the destination?” “The companions,” said Little Dragon.
This brief exchange reminds us that finding our way on our journey is also about who our companions are on our journey. Not so that they influence our direction or help us arrive faster, but because, ideally, they remind us not to stray from our path.
They are our constant mirrors, allowing us to see ourselves from all our different sides.
It is also an immense gift to have people around us who can bear witness to our path and our journey. They can remind us of where we once were and where we are now. But also who we once were and who we are now.
Because no matter where our path takes us and how we get there, the most valuable things are still our relationships (with others, ourselves, our environment, and the all-encompassing force) because they make us who we are.
