I’m going to be selfish for once… or am I?

I’m going to be selfish for once… or am I?

A balancing act between self-care, self-respect, shame, and the Greater Good

Even though I’ve been using the phrase “I’m selfish” for most of my life, it’s become increasingly apparent to me over the past few months whenever I’ve said, “I’m going to be selfish today and do … xyz.”, and meant things like “… and write on my own blog,” “… and sew myself a skirt,” or “… and take the day off” (after I’d been working virtually every day of the week, including weekends, for weeks or longer).

These rather distorted thoughts illustrate very well how “being selfish” in its various forms is often used as a weapon, especially in “Western” society. It would be much more precise to explore the question of what intention drives us to do things and which of these might even be a basic need or a desire. And that is exactly what I’m going to do here. read more

You, I, one, we

You, I, one, we

Some of you may have noticed that, for the most part, I don’t write about “you” or the very general “one” in my texts. Every now and then, I share a personal story of my own to be more personal and precise. Most of the time, however, I write observations about “us”—as people, as a society, as a culture.

This can trigger resistance in some people when I write about things that might affect some people, but not that specific person. And it’s true. This “we” can never be precise enough to truly express who is included and who is not. Nevertheless, it is a very conscious decision on my part to write in this way. read more