floating with the river…

floating with the river…

Last week I was embarking on a new journey full of challenges and new experiences.

I was offered to join a small group of people to go on a 3 day, 3 night adventure with the canoe into the Northwoods of Wisconsin. It was organized and facilitated by the Teaching Drum Outdoor School, so the main goal was a full immersion into the land and to learn and experience to use simple (some would say primitive) tools and techniques to help to get really connected with the natural world around you.

we are starting…

When we started, my feelings were a mix of excitment, curiosity and fear, which is a mix I know all to well, since most of my adventures start off like that. The only difference might be the intensity of one feeling over another. read more

I’m fed up!

I’m fed up!

I didn’t write for such a long time, because I always valued other tasks as more important. Task for my job, tasks for the projects I’m part of, tasks my friends or family asked me to, tasks that I thought were expected of me.

No matter what, it was always more important than to do the things that made me happy at the moment. And when I finally had time, I had to play a defiant little child almost as long as I had worked before. Every time I was mad at myself afterwards, that I didn’t assign my wishes a higher priority. That anger and defiance was expressed in a way that I just didn’t want to do anything any more. Not even the things that would make me happy. read more

pressure and the need to do something

pressure and the need to do something

It has been a time of highs and lows for me the past few weeks. I’m usually very easily overwhelmed by my emotions, so I constructed an intricate pattern of safety nets, not to get tangled up in them. This has – for a long time – served me well in supporting me not to feel very much at all. The side effect of it is though, that the emotions don’t really go away. They are still here, they seem to be getting stronger, and I feel like I can’t handle them, because I’m not used to it. read more

Vulnerability and Expression of Self

Vulnerability and Expression of Self

In my live now and again I achieved smaller and bigger things that I’m proud of, but never really showed publicly or kept as small as possible. I didn’t even really admit it to myself, that I was proud. It was and still is really hard for me, to really show myself.

I did manage to show parts of what I accomplished and some of my thoughts in my previous blog Wandering Treechild, but was always too afraid to connect it to my name. I always had the feeling that I wasn’t ready to open myself up to the effects that it would generate. Would I loose my credibility at my previous work? Or some future work? Would I embarrass someone that knows me? read more

One of those days/weeks/months…

cat

Have you ever had a time in your life where it felt almost impossible to sit at the computer one more second than absolutely necessary? Well, that’s what happened to me. Somehow I was functioning, but my inspiration was missing. I had ideas of what to write about, but for the life of me couldn’t sit down and form it into words. But I want that phase to be over, so with this post, I let you know: I’m still alive and kicking :-). I even (almost) finished translating my older posts into german! read more

Home is where my heart is

Sonnenuntergang

I’ve been asking myself: When does a house become a home? – Well, I found the answer in an old folk song (probably from the Natives of North America, but I never verified it):

I’ve been travelling a day,
I’ve been travelling a year,
I’ve been travelling a lifetime,
to find my way home.

Home, is where my heart is
Home, is where my heart is
Home, is where my heart is,
My heart is my home.

My heart IS my home, but since I put so much of my heart into my little house, it is now also part of my home. My home also includes people I call family and dear friends, so I’ll probably never be truly homeless, but since I moved in, I do feel like I’ve come home. Being in my tiny house feels like a warm hug by a loved one. Not perfect by outside standards, but perfect in my eyes, including all its imperfections. read more

bad hair day?

Haare mit Stärke

For a long time now I wasn’t very happy with the fact that I could find shampoo only in plastic bottles and mostly filled with who knows what exactly. This got me started in looking for alternatives. How did the people wash their hair back in the day when there was no shampoo from the supermarket/factory?

I saw a short report on TV a few years back, where there was a guy cleaning his hair by “rolling around in the dirt” like his donkey did. I was kind of confused how that would actually CLEAN the hair, but didn’t pay any more attention to it. read more

Move your ass!

Tiny House innen

Even though I wrote before that I needed the toilet to be fully functioning for me to move in, the whole process of building my toilet overlapsed with moving in, since I just couldn’t wait any longer. So the big question was: What do you really need to live?

Well, “need” is defined a little different by each person at each point in time. But since I experienced that being too radical or fast in certain steps of a transformation can turn me off the path completely, I did “allow” myself to stretch the meaning of “need”. read more

Shit

Komposttoilette

After sleeping in my new little house for two nights in a row, it became apparent pretty soon that the next thing before really moving in had to be the composting toilet. There is a house right next to my new home where I can use the toilet, but it’s winter, and I do want to have some luxury…

I found some leftover wood in the attic so I started to build my wooden box for the toilet. The separating toilet seat I had already ordered and received months ago from Separett .

So I started to build the box for the toilet. I’m sure that any carpenter would be horrified by the way I did it, but being pretty or doing it the “correct” way was not high on my list of priorities. I just wanted it to be stable and do the job. First, I built the frame. read more

Every day holds the potential for MAGIC

nature

Magic … like a big and potentially energy-consuming meeting being postponed out of the blue on a day where you feel like you couldn’t have handled it.

Magic … like someone smiling at you when you were so much inside your head, you only saw problems and sorrow.

Magic … like a majestic owl diving soundlessly for its prey right in front of you.

Magic … like one of your favorite musicians playing exactly the songs you were hoping to hear at his amazing concert.

Magic … like a really good friend just being here and listening to whatever you need to talk about – however dumb you might feel it sounds. read more