I’m done!

I’m done!

I have a big confession to make…

(there’s also a german version of this in video format)

About 7 years ago I have set out my journey to radically follow my heart. And some time along that way, I got extremely sidetracked by my fear of not being a productive member of society / my clan, which in turn – in my head – is tied to earning money. I have figured out that I like helping people, so all the things I have been doing the last almost 4 years have been – on the surface – geared towards that.

In the beginning, I even “allowed” myself to have the time and space to find my connection to my inner voice. For 3 months or so, and I constantly talked about how important it is, to listen to and follow that inner voice. And it is – to me – the most important thing. But I haven’t radically truly communicated that to the universe through my actions. I did do a lot of self-discovery and unfolding of my inner voice, also after these initial 3 months, but I hadn’t noticed that I had put myself in a cage to do so. read more

Are you powered by fear?

Are you powered by fear?

What is your main driving force for doing something? And have you checked over time if it’s still the same?
Are you “all in” with your current project? can you feel, that you reached the point of no return? That the only way out of it is through? And you’re ready to do whatever it take? Do it, or die?

If you don’t have something like that in your life – and that can also be your personal journey of self-discovery -, you can skip this article and come back when you do. Because then, you will easily find excuses as soon as it gets a little tough, and won’t have the strength to look at your fears. read more

Why intrinsic need is important

Why intrinsic need is important

Today, in the process of a training I’m doing, I received the task to fast – not eat – for the day, with the story to imagine, that there’s not enough food for the whole community and you give up your part in service to the others.

It is a great exercise, and surely helpful training. However, in the situation I’m in at the moment, it creates dissonance. Right now, there is actually so much food at my place, that it would go bad if not eaten today. So what to do?

I see and value the importance of self-control, and to learn to step back and be of service. But that topic reminds me a lot about all sorts of trainings, or efforts to achieve something in general. read more

The richness of slow travel

The richness of slow travel

Slow is a very relative term. In the past, traveling by train was considered fast, compared to traveling with horses or on foot even. Now, it’s considered slow, compared to airplanes, that have become such a common mode of transport nowadays.

A lot of people would have thought me crazy or stupid for taking the train to ride from Minneapolis in the center of the United States, all the way to Portland, Oregon on the westcoast. The whole ride took about 38 hours – not counting the different amounts of delay – and almost 3000 kilometers. That sounds like a lot. And it is! But then, time is also relative. read more

What is community?

What is community?

Community is such a big part of our DNA… It’s the feeling we all long for in one way or another. It is about being truly seen, being accepted, being loved. It’s about belonging to something bigger than ourselves, living our gift to others, and seing our purpose in the world unfold.

At the end of March this year, I spent one week in the North of Sweden in the middle of nowhere together with nine other people. The only thing that we knew about each other were, that we were all interested in native lifeways and learning about Sami culture and crafts. read more

Blessings and Curses

Photocredit: pixabay.com/moritz320

When a person I talk to is unhappy with a situation that happened to them, I love to tell a certain Zen story about a man and his son, showing that nothing is ever only as it appears in the beginning. That apparent blessings could later be seen as curses and vice versa.

About three weeks ago, something happened, that now I have my own real life story somehow similar to it! You can skip right to my experience if you know the Zen story….

Zen story

It might include some creative freedom.

One day, out of the blue, a man gets visited by a rich relative, who gifts him with a horse. So when he rode into the village, everyone said, what a blessing it is that he got that horse, because it can help with work on his farm and so many other things. But the man just said: We’ll see. read more

How to deal with reports of our negative impact in the world

Photocredit: pixabay.com/domeckopol

I recently read two different articles that showcase how our thoughtless acts can have desastrous consequences for our wild animal brothers and sisters.

touching, viral bear video

One is about a bear mother and her cub, apparently fleeing from a drone filming them. The video went viral, because apparently it shows that perseverence gets you to your goal eventually. But all I could feel is the struggle of the little cub, and her fear. It did show the strength of that small animal that couldn’t have been more than a few months old. both physical and mental strength to handle such a situation.

And it reminds me that I can relate to the fear, but being paralized by that fear, I hadn’t really learned that strength most of my life. Being in that same situation, would I have been so curageous to follow my elder without hesitation, trusting that she knows the way? Would I have the inner strength to not even hesitate or think of complaining how unfair or undoable it is? And after the ordeal, traumatized by the experience, still not have resentment for that thing that threatened me?

While watching I felt all the wisdom that those bears had, that goes beyond words or intellect. And one of my own kind did that to them…

stranded wales

The other story was about two wales that had stranded on the north shores of Germany almost a year ago, and their autopsy now showed all the plastic inside of their stomachs. And looking it up again, I didn’t even find the article, but several other articles on other wales who died with huge amounts of plastic that they swallowed. And again, it is something, that people of my kind did or let happen, and I feel responsible for it.


And those reports are in essence nothing new. What makes this situation different is mostly myself. For such a long time in my life, I was so disconnected from my feelings and emotions, that whenever I heard a report of something awful, no matter if it was on other people, animals or “the environment”, my trained brain told me that this was something awful and that I need to feel sad or affected or shocked or something like that. But I never really felt the connection. And I would guess I’m not the only one out there.

But since I’ve been on my journey to really learn to listen to my inner voice and my feelings for a while, I slowly learned to really connect with these instances. Even though those emotions are not easy to feel and accept, I’m so thankful that I am finally able to actually feel them. Because the way I see it, it is the only way to sustainably change any kind of behaviour that would stop destroying our own home and habitat.

how to deal

So what can we do in that situation? – Well, if you can relate to not really feeling the connection, a good way to start might be to honestly acknowledge that state you’re in, and consciously decide that you want to change and that you’re ready to learn to connect with your feelings and stay on your path even if it’s hard or you’re scared.

If you can already really connect with a certain situation or more, and you feel overwhelmed, stay with the feelings anyway. Really connect with all aspects of the situation. What characteristics does nature show us over and over again? How do plants and animals deal with hard times and fear? Let them be your guide to grow your inner strength. Trust in it and be a role model to others.

is it too late?

There is also a lot of discussion of “it” being too late to turn things around. But is that really important for your decision? What if predictions are wrong? What if we could still influence the development in a way that is not so destructive and maybe even productive at some point? Wouldn’t you want to take the chance and still plant an apple tree even if you knew the world would be gone tomorrow?

The Great Turning

Well, I guess this is not a new concept. I still only have heard little and haven’t read Joanna Macy‘s books about deep ecology, the Great Turning and the work that reconnects, but it goes in a similar direction to what I just wrote about. There is also a wonderful talk of her on youtbe.

The way I see it, connection with yourself, others (not only humans but animals, plants  many more) and nature is a vital part of our way of healing.